He is Art


When he looks at me
I swear I cannot
breathe
warmth radiates through
his smile
and the butterflies stir
in my stomach
I would not dare to
look away
slave to his
bluey-grey eyes
I cannot fathom a life
without hearing
his laugh
I exist with him
his gentle soul
I am home
in his arms,
for he is art
and I am found.

A Response To: My Take On Soulmates


Oh, how wrong I was.

I do believe in soulmates, really I do. I don’t know what I was thinking when I wrote that first post. I guess I was partly angry and partly lonely because honestly, right now I feel the exact opposite. I have never been happier in my whole life than I am now. The person I am in love with did actually magically appear in my life when I wasn’t actively seeking out anyone, and it’s the best feeling. It was unexpected and so so sudden, but it happened just at the right time. He’s my life, my everything, my whole world and of course, my soulmate. I know he’s seen my last post about soulmates but that was a whole month before I even met him. I was majorly cynical. Most of my blog posts are about heartache, hurt and regret but since September/October I have known that I will never feel any of those things again.

He is my other half, but that does not mean I am half a person. I am a whole person, and so is he, and together we bring out the best in each other. He completes me and I am the best “me” when I am with him. Of course you don’t need someone else to complete you, you are a whole masterpiece all on your own. But when you find that person, you feel like your whole life has changed for the better. I have everything I need in him. I just don’t understand why I was so cynical about love before I met him. He is my happiness, and I want to make him happy for the rest of my life.

“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” – Emily Bronte

I have come to realize that soulmates do not have to behave, think or speak exactly like you. You just “click”, and you feel an instant connection. I feel like we are “ideally suited” as Google says, and he is definitely perfect for me. I don’t know what I’d do without him. Soulmates are described as someone who will change your life. I made a point about changing your own life if you need to, because I was of the opinion of being strong and independent. I still am, and will always be, but my boyfriend has changed my life for the better. He is the sunshine in my life. And you don’t have to change yourself for anyone or pretend to be someone else just to impress someone you like. Because he accepts me for who I am, and I love him for that. I hope he knows that I accept him for who he is too.

You don’t have to wait an entire lifetime for your soulmate. It’s worth taking the chance. You won’t know if someone is your soulmate until you try. And maybe your relationship won’t be perfect from the start… it will be awkward as you first start to get to know them, and the conversation will be bitty (especially if you’re a quiet person like me). I was so nervous. But it will ease up, and the conversation will start to flow better, and your time spent together will lead to more things to talk about, in-jokes, pet names… the whole lot. It will be worth it, trust me on this, because it was worth it for me. As long as you keep trying, working on it and never give up.

“True love is finding your soulmate in your best friend.” – Faye Hall

One of the things I said in that post was that you won’t like every decision your partner makes or everything they do… but if you love them, why would that matter? You’ll work through it and get over it, no big deal. I also said that you might occasionally have quibbles and fights, but there are relationships where you don’t need to fight with each other. That isn’t necessarily unhealthy. I never fight with my boyfriend and our relationship is healthy. We still talk about what we’re feeling and thinking.

And then my soul saw you and it kind of went, “Oh there you are. I’ve been looking for you.”

The idea of soulmates isn’t silly like I said before. I’m actually quite angry at myself for writing all those horrible things about soulmates not existing because it couldn’t be further from the truth. You don’t decide someone is your soulmate or go “that one will be my soulmate” because it’s a feeling. You can’t help it because it just happens, and you’ll know when it does. But right now, you have to love them with all your heart, forever and always. The idea of belonging to someone is not like being imprisoned. It’s like being set free. You can belong to yourself AND to someone else… if you want to, that is. It’s not a trap. If I could go back in time and slap myself with a brick and tell my past self to believe in love, I would. What was I thinking?! You can be yourself around the one you love, your soulmate. And if it’s true love, that will be enough.

Sometimes, soulmates don’t stay in your life forever, but sometimes they do. It’s not a tragedy to need someone else. Tbh I think I’ll delete my last post. It is not tragic to depend on someone so much and to be lost without them. Because that’s how I feel. My boyfriend means everything to me, and I believe we were meant to be. He’s always been there for me when I needed him most, and I’ll always be there for him too. Nobody is perfect, but you love them in spite of the fact, and they become perfect for you. It’s honestly so scary how much you can change in a matter of months. I’m like a whole new person now. A better version of myself.

“I got lost in him, and it’s the kind of lost that’s exactly like being found.” – Claire Lazebnik

Fate is a funny thing. Because I think that it was fate that brought us together. I feel like everything in my life has let to you… the good and the bad; my choices, heartbreaks, regrets. I wouldn’t change a thing if it meant I would meet you. If I had done anything differently, I might never have met you and I would have missed out big time. Think about it. What if I never went to Amsterdam and met one of my best friends? What if I never went to that foam party, and decided to go out the night before or the night after? I find it strange because I can’t imagine my life without you now. I don’t even want to think about a life without you. If I have done anything right in my life, it was falling in love with you, and I really believe you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I don’t know what I did to deserve you. And if you could choose your soulmate, I’d choose you, over and over, without a doubt, or a pause, in every lifetime and in every heartbeat, I’d keep choosing you.

Hollow Heart


A broken heart
the one I wore
on my sleeve
I have suffered,
split my soul
into a million pieces
for you,
we ruined each other,
I was the ocean
serene and brutal
and you were
a wildfire
relentless and
I; defenceless
against you.
When you left
the sea was
my only comfort
I whispered words
of sorrow
into the salty air,
I found a hollowed shell
and all I could think
about was the hole
in my heart
weathered by the
ebb and flow of
memories of you,
I scattered the ashes
of my once vibrant heart
into the sea
and rolled up my sleeves,
it seems
I drown in love
too easily.

Photo Credit: I’m Priscilla (via Unsplash)