At Time’s Mercy

Dear Autumn,

Time flies by so fast.

When you’re a kid everything seems to drag on forever because you’re still so young and the time is such a huge portion of your life. when you get older, though, everything passes by in a flash. The year seems to last for just a second. I can remember Christmas 2015 like it was yesterday and now it’s almost Halloween 2016(!). Spooky. A lot can change in a year but when you live in the moment it feels like nothing will change, like it’s impossible for anything to change. And by the time next year comes around, you look back and you realise you have actually been through a lot. You’ve had so many experiences that have shaped you as a person ever so gradually. It’s quite remarkable. It’s like the person you were a year ago doesn’t exist now but it is still you.

You’re a combination of all your past selves from this lifetime.

I’m a combination of the 6-year-old girl who moved abroad with her family for a couple of years to live in the rural south of Spain. I’m the girl who would always stand at the edge of the playground waiting for other kids to invite her to play with them. I’m the 10-year-old who used to brush her frizzy hair upside down to make it big because she liked it that way. I’m the girl who used to be shy and quiet and reserved because she felt like she didn’t fit in. I’m all of those selves and that makes me, me. There’s nothing wrong with that. They form a part of me and each one is just as loved as the other. They are me and I am them.

But why then, at some points does time seem to drag?

Like at work when everything just gets on top of you and you just can’t think straight. And then at other points time just whizzes by. And above all, probably the cruellest of notions; why does time fly fast when you’re having fun? It’s quite unfair really. If I was having fun, I would want time to go by really slowly so I could have more fun that time would allow. I wish that you could pause time like you pause the television. Just to savour the moment and live it in its entirety, cherishing every second of it. That would be nice. Time doesn’t care for the wishes of others, though. sometimes time likes to sprint, and sometimes it likes to take a leisurely walk along the promenade of a sunny beach. It quite ironically lives life at its own pace. What a nuisance. Does time know it is playing games with us?

Photo Credit: Rachel Crowe


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