University started again on Monday and I’m just finally glad to get back into the swing o things. I even went to a fresher’s event. Yeah, can you believe it? I had A LOT of fun. I was debating whether or not to go out and I’m happy I did. I think if you keep giving excuses then people will stop inviting you to things because they just give up. I haven’t been out all summer so it was nice to let my hair down for one night. I can be social if I really try, which is rare for me. I have fun when I do so I don’t know why I don’t do it more often. I think I’m lazy, that’s why. It’s effort. That sounds really bad, doesn’t it? Everyone is just so far away from me.
Autumn, why am I finding it so hard to write? It’s like all my ideas have disappeared and it’s kind of frustrating. Maybe I’m overthinking it. I just need to calm down and b r e a t h e. I think my brain has been frazzled and it’s still fairly fragile from the alcohol I drank on Monday night. Do you think that’s a valid reason? Let’s go with it anyway. At this point, I’m just trying to write absolutely anything to get myself out of “writer’s block”. One word at a time, eh?
I like seeing the page fill up with words and sentences. Blank pages are daunting. It seems that if I have a lot of writing on one page then it is easier to write more, but whenever I start a new page: BOOM, my mind goes blank too. There’s probably a psychological reason for it. I can’t call myself a writer if I don’t write. I need to train my brain to keep the words flowing whenever I want them to so I don’t find it difficult. I’m writing on the bus and even though my handwriting is pretty bad, the bumps in the road are making it 100 times worse.
I’m going to my first meeting at the creative writing society tonight which I’m SO excited about. Even though it’s really late in the evening and I live an hour away. Should be good. I wonder how many people will be there and what it will be like. At least it gets me out of the house more often. And I think it will be nice to have people who will support my writing. I’ll probably get the chance to read other people’s work too and we can encourage each other. Not everyone writes in the same way and I think it will be interesting to read different genres and styles and it might give me a chance to try something new. It’s always good to challenge yourself and improve your work. And maybe I’ll make some new friends. Look at me being all social-like. Who knew? I literally can’t wait. My only concern is what time I’ll get home but that’s a minor issue.
Autumn, do you know what’s really funny? Well, it’s not funny as such but anyway, the amount of people drinking coffee at the train station is insane. Why do people do it? Aside: I feel really ill – headache, sore throat, cough, the lot. I just wanted to tell you guys. So carrying on with my story, do you think people do it because they see other people doing it? When they see someone with a coffee it triggers the coffee centre in the brain and they go “oh yeah, I want a coffee too”. Or do you think that people who get the train are simply predetermined to love coffee. It probably doesn’t help that there is a Costa and a Starbucks opposite the train station, or that on both train platforms there’s a café. Sneaky, really, but smart.
I think there are two types of coffee drinkers. Those who drink coffee when the weather is cold. That’s rational and understandable. Then there are people like me who drink 4 coffees a day regardless of the weather. There is no in between. I would say I’m addicted to coffee but when I don’t drink it I don’t get caffeine withdrawal so technically I’m not. I don’t depend on it. There are times when I know I probably shouldn’t drink coffee like on boiling hot days but I do anyway because it’s just so nice. But yeah, it’s ridiculous how many people buy a coffee before they get on the train to somewhere, most likely work. And I get that work can be a drag sometimes but is coffee really necessary? Maybe for some people. I don’t feel the effects of caffeine anymore because I’m used to it. It doesn’t make me feel more alert or more focused. Autumn, do you think that is the purpose of coffee? To help you feel more awake? Because it’s not working.
Photo Credit: Jeremy Thomas