New Beginnings

Dear Autumn,

Another day has passed and it is finally my first day in 3rd year at university. After 5 months of sitting at home bored, my life is getting back into a routine. Hooray. I cannot wait to get back to learning psychology. It will be interesting, if not a little tough. Someone told me that 3rd year is easier than 2nd year but somehow I do not believe them. I mean, how can it be easier? In reality. But maybe if I don’t overthink it like always, I’ll get by without a hitch. Hopefully anyway. I hope a lot these days. I think it’s an integral part of being in your 20s, hoping, because really, we don’t know what we’re doing. We just go with the flow most of the time. It’s pretty rare for a 20-something year old to know what they’re doing with their life, and I guess it’s a little comforting to know.

I officially start my first module today – evolutionary psychology and I can’t wait. I’ll be able to see my friends AND start learning again. Seriously, I think my brain has quite possibly shrunk over the summer with the amount of learning it has not been doing. It must have shrivelled up. Being a recluse does that to you. Although, unlike most of my classmates, I’m probably the only one or one of the few that has a blog or has consistently written since 2nd year ended. It’s a nice thought anyway. I think I’ve wanted to go back to uni for about three months now. After the second month if summer it just got silly. I need to use my brain one way or another, otherwise, I’d just go insane.

I did do a few things I wanted to do, though, like learn how to Jive. Absolutely brilliant that was. Still is. And I never want to stop. So even though my summer didn’t go exactly as planned *cough* Madrid *cough*, I got to do different things which I ended up liking even better. Life is like that isn’t it? Sometimes when things don’t go to plan, it’s for the best. If things don’t work out then maybe they weren’t supposed to in the first place. There’s really no point in worrying. Most of the time you’ll be glad, happier even, that you didn’t do what you originally planned. If I went to Madrid for the whole three months, I wouldn’t have learned to dance, gone on holiday with my family or carried on with my blog (shock horror!). I don’t know how different my life would be right now if I stayed in Madrid but I like my life the way it is and I wouldn’t change it for the world.

Oh Autumn, do I really have to go out tonight? I’m not the most sociable person ever and tonight I’ll be stuck in a big room with loads (over a hundred) of other uni students drinking alcohol. Fab. It’s not my kind of scene but I want to see what it’s like just for tonight. And maybe I’ll have fun. We’ll see. I haven’t been out partying in like forever but I won’t be on my own – I’ll have my friends there at least. My real friends anyway. Turns out the people I thought were my friends last year are in fact not. Not anymore. We drifted apart somehow and in some ways I’m ok with that but I’m also kind of taken aback by it.

To be honest, it’s probably because of my asocial nature. I like socialising, but I also like being by myself most of the time. I’m sort of in the middle of introvert and extrovert because I feel like I don’t fit neatly into either. But the word “friend” does finish with “end”. They can do what they want, I don’t particularly care anymore. I’ll still talk to them if they initiate it but otherwise, goodbye friends. I’ll find my own people.

Photo Credit: Annie Spratt


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