“Man, I can assure you, is a nasty creature.”- Molière
What you need to know is that even if you love someone with all your heart, you can also dislike them with every fiber of your being. It’s hard when you care about someone but they seem to disappoint or hurt you all the time. And it can get tiring. The thing with these people is that they are two faced. What they are good at is keeping you close; they do you wrong and never apologise for it, and then the next minute they’re nice to you again. And you’re left confused. Because you have to forgive them and if you don’t then they appear confused as to why you’re mad. To them, you’re giving them attitude. I hate it. They’re wolves dressed in sheep’s clothing. Be aware of them and don’t let them get in your heads. It’s what they want. You forgive them because you don’t want to lose them, but they don’t realise that they are slowly losing you.
These types of people always want to shut you up subconsciously. They may not even realise they are doing it. They say things and you are left dumbfounded. You can’t reply to them because they’ll take it as you talking back at them, with attitude. They find something wrong in everything you do and they never pay attention to what you do right. So you tread on eggshells. It leaves the atmosphere tense all the time, and you become quiet because you know that if you even dare speak one ‘wrong’ word, all hell will break loose. It etches into your very being and you can never express a personal opinion or feeling anymore. It can become life ruining, especially for future relationships. You will never want to tell anyone anything again because of the fear. It leaves you helpless. These people are toxic, and it’s not always easy to remove them from your life, especially if you’re related to them and spend a whole load of time with them.
You can never have a good time with them because you know at some point they will raise their voice or shout, or in extreme cases become violent. It’s scary. They feel like they’re superior and will take every chance to try and prove it to you. They will not back down; they’re the most stubborn people in the world and you will never be able to change their views. They’ll never change. If you try to even utter a reason why they are wrong, they will tear you down and bring up something awful you did 10 years ago at 1:46pm which they only just conveniently remembered. It’s a nightmare. They generalise one thing you do wrong into everything you have ever done wrong in your life. They will emotionally attack you every chance they get to make themselves feel better about everything wrong they have ever done.
They will even attack you if you keep to yourself in your room away from them and their abusive words. You can never win and nothing you ever do for them will ever be good enough. You try your best to stay away from them but they always have a way with them, and you’ll never be able to stay away from them forever. They are always able to get to you, physically and emotionally, no matter what you do to try and stop it. They will never leave you alone and they will always invade your space when you dont want them to. And you vow that you will never be like them in the future, you will be the complete opposite because you don’t want people around you to go through the same thing going you had to go through. It’s like the toxic person will never be happy and you have to be OK with it. You know the person could explode at any minute, so you have to be careful. Sometimes they may realise that they are wrong, but they won’t admit it, and they will carry on arguing their case until you give in. If they go down, you go down with them.
Some people are lucky enough to escape these people, to be free of the toxicity. But some people are not. And what these people have to realise is that the toxic person will never change; it’s in their nature to take down everyone. But the thing is, is that they are not toxic to everyone. They behave differently when they’re with you, and when they’re with their friends or out in public. For the people who do get away, you have to pick yourself off the floor and rebuild yourself. When you’ve been around a toxic person for a long time, you tend to lose your individuality; you become an extension of them. They don’t realise what they are doing to you. You have to grow into yourself and figure out who you are out of the influence of the other person. And it may take a while but you have to do it. You can’t let someone have that much influence over you. Unfair is an understatement.
You need to remember that it is OK to walk away from toxic people; from people who hurt you. You can terminate that relationship. You are allowed to be angry and selfish and unforgiving. You don’t owe anyone anything explanation for taking care of yourself. When people treat you like they don’t care, believe them. When people say nasty things when they are angry, they mean it; there is no filter in anger. So please, do not forgive these people when they sorry. Sorry to them is a full on apology. And often they don’t really mean it, because it happens time and time again. Do not tell them it is OK when it isn’t. They have us bending around ourselves in endless attempts to please them, and call us ungrateful for what we don’t do. And most of the time we feel like its our fault and we feel like an inconvenience to them. It’s really them being ungrateful. And you constantly have to adjust your behaviour to avoid getting hurt. They treat you horribly and expect you to love them no matter what; everything revolves around them. If they’re in a bad mood, guess what? They’re gonna share it with you and you’ll be in a bad mood for the rest of the day.
Take care of yourselves, lovelies. Don’t let them dampen you and shrink you down to their size.