“Stop planting flowers in people’s yards who aren’t even going to water them.”
Is it too much to ask for someone to stick around for a while? Chasing people takes effort, and I always do most of the chasing. It’s tiring, you know? I’m not going to force people to stay in my life when I know they don’t want to. Talking to people who won’t listen takes the energy out of me. It’s tragic in a way. I care too much, and it does me harm; I’ve had enough of trying too hard.
I’ve always been someone who looks too deep into something or someone because I realised from a young age that there’s more than meets the eye. I romanticise the past and the memories that come with it, instead of what’s happening now. I remember what people used to be like, and I’m blind to their present selves because I expect them to behave like they used to. And that’s why I’m always disappointed. Because people change, and sometimes not for the better. People always change, or rather, show the side of themselves that I’ve never seen before. They are never the same person they were yesterday, or will be tomorrow. People are so unpredictable.
I’m reckless with my emotions. And I give them away too easily. It makes me human, and I do not have forever, so why not make the most of the small lifetime I do have and do everything with passion or not at all. I am not invincible. It just seems that love is doomed to pain and loss from its onset, and there is no escaping that most solemn of inevitabilities. It’s beautiful, though, that someone would put themselves through heartache, in the name of such brief happiness.
They say “If a man is right, his world is right” and there’s some truth in that. Sometimes you have to do what is right for you because no-one else is walking in your shoes. You have to be your own hero and save your own heart because sometimes the people you can’t live without can live without you. Until I have love for myself nobody else will; you cannot, after all, grow crops in unwatered fields.